1. |
Stellar's Jay
04:09
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i’m ok. i’m half awake, still holding to the shape of a memory.
the rotted trees all graffiti’d green. unmade debris lines the watershed.
i’m watching the lights go by.
my soul’s awake but my heart is all veins, and i’m not the same, i’m gonna make a change.
i’m watching the lights go by.
i’m ok. i’m half awake. a stellar’s jay alights from a powerline.
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2. |
Eloise
03:20
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eloise, help me with this memory. i can see only shapes, dull shades of things.
there’s smoke in every room. magnolia pink with bloom. i’m watching from the garden.
eloise, help me name this melody. can you see to keep the dusk away from me? i stumble in the darkness. i’m from another place. as empty as a pocket still holding to the shape of every thing i’ve lost.
eloise. glittered ashes in the street. i believe in nothing but the end of being and carry on regardless.
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3. |
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close your eyes so i can see the scars that purple shadows hide from view.
unfold your hands so i can trace the lines, so i can trace the lines that guide you.
days repeating in the dark, it's keeping me awake. i’m ready to go.
through your eyes i go back in time.
yellow, black, and white statues smiling.
now my heart is beating, but my hands are cold, are my lungs constricting?
the days will repeat into the dark, still keeping me
awake but i’m ready to go
close your eyes so i can see the scars that purple shadows hide from view.
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4. |
Great Wave
04:24
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i contrived a way to deny your power:
weigh the canopy; name every leaf and every stem.
feign desire, grief.
resolve to keep away from me what i’m keeping away from you.
i’m wide awake.
a great wave that didn’t know better.
try to describe the light, to assign a pattern.
each conifer manifests grey echoes in silhouette.
a great wave, my mind has changed.
you should’ve known better.
a great wave. i’m wide awake.
you should’ve known better,
but you did it anyway,
you should’ve known better.
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5. |
Unknown
03:52
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underneath the leaves the damp unknown unbreached moss falls like rain to my lips.
i will live a thousand years and never have to decide, in all this creation, which patterns survive.
i bleed to the sea from the northern star, bound and returned unharmed.
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6. |
Watershed
00:42
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7. |
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make believe a river borne of a thousand streams: a make believe identity.
make believe a canyon hollowed beneath your feet. always dig in, never retreat.
i know where i stand.
make believe devotion’s a bullet in the chest.
make believe a bulletproof vest.
with the water rising, suspended disbelief
dragging soiled wake between your knees.
i know where you stand.
..
dive under a chair.
shut behind a door.
hear a primal shout
“we will never back down!”
a riot shield. hiding in fear these final hours.
whispering in my phone
“nancy, where are you?”
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8. |
Reflect Darkness
04:39
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two limbs bronze and oxide green statue cast in your relief
gathering white from the water.
the architecture of the river.
cascading ridges of sand walk the dead water shed.
hold no faith in the memory. a record spinning on repeat.
i’ve got to stop with this feeling.
earth:
echo thunder.
reflect darkness.
call to collect on every debt, every time.
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9. |
All Faded
04:37
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all faded,
cut the moon out from the smoke-light sky.
all faded from the summertime.
though it feels impossible to find a place
to hear the wind
that's safe
to feel the sunlight,
I'm wading back up the river's blight
resting my head on the wet cement tonight,
waiting for the end to come.
sit up awake and stare
towards a house that bleeds with smoke.
in a world beyond repair
waiting for the end to come
tonight
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ben kamen Olympia, Washington
Over the past two decades, Ben Kamen has created music for a variety of formats and genres — from chamber music to multi- channel sound installations to folk and post-rock. Originally from Ohio, Kamen has lived in Olympia since 2006, where he teaches electronic music composition at The Evergreen State College and develops musical instrument apps, including the drum machine “Patterning.” ... more
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